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Kage Tao [userpic]

Entry Sixteen.

July 8th, 2005 (08:04 am)

Feeling:: exhausted
Listening To:: Olivia Lufkin - Skip to a Little

She seems... nice. She smells strange... I still do not know what she is. I can't tell... But I know now why her scent... reminded me of Lady Jez. I wonder... if that is why she is here. Because of her condition. Though... it is early, she can not be more than a week or two along...

I have... spoken to Lyca about... finding Lady Ki work. Lyca was very willing to offer her a job, even without experience. She can be trained. It is... not that hard, not really.

I am now tired... very tired. I think... I shall spend the rest of today in bed.

Kage Tao [userpic]

Entry Fifteen.

July 6th, 2005 (04:55 pm)

Feeling:: worried
Listening To:: Gackt - Metamorphoze

I haven't seen her yet... Will will only say she is "cute" and that I will like her. She is... sleeping... I think. I know her name.... I know that she is a friend of Shuichi. That is all... Will refuses to tell me. He says, "You will see for yourself tonight"... and I grow worried. Why will he tell me nothing of this girl? She isn't human... she doesn't smell human. And... there's something else... that reminds me of... Lady Jez... But I do not know.

Lyca returned home! I am so happy about that. I am to see her soon... she will tell me how everything went back home. I hope... that it went well. She says... that there is a man I must meet... But I am nervous... very nervous...

Kage Tao [userpic]

Entry Fourteen.

May 27th, 2005 (04:06 pm)

Feeling:: sleepy
Listening To:: Oda Kazumasa - Tasutaetai Koto Ga Arunda

I have not posted here in... such a long time. I am sorry. I have been... very, very busy. I will post more often now, I promise. Now that we are settled, everything will be okay.

I have moved away from Loki and the others. I have moved into a small house with a friend, Will. The last few weeks... we have decorated. Making the house our own. I like it here. It is... very quiet. Peaceful. There is a park near-by, and a meadow... The neighbours are nice too. Shuichi comes to visit at the weekends. He said he would visit on Sunday. And Loki... I am... not sure what to call him. Do I still call him "him"? Would that offend him... her... Loki? I am confused...

I miss Lyca. She has not been around for... over a month now. I have not heard from her. I know this happens... I should not be worried... but I am. Because Loki and Shuichi are worried... They say Loki's daughter is missing too... I hope nothing had happened...

Kage Tao [userpic]

Entry Thirteen.

February 27th, 2005 (07:50 pm)

Feeling:: happy
Listening To:: Gackt - Birdcage

I think I made a new friend today. Her name is Riva… she is a friend of Aurora… she reminded me a little of Katze. She was sweet. And hyperactive. She was nice to me… I did not feel threatened by her. We… colourd. *laughs softly* She drew a picture of me.

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I like it. She is a much better artist than I am… She said we could talk again. I hope so. I would like to talk to her again… and maybe Aurora too?


Kage Tao [userpic]

Entry Twelve.

February 24th, 2005 (02:34 pm)

Feeling:: sleepy
Listening To:: Onitsuka Chihiro - BORDERLINE

I am… so very tired. I forget, that it weakens me so much… to become what I did last night. Takes so much energy… drains me so much. I… am so sleepy… but he’s okay… that’s the good thing. My little brother… is okay.

Kage Tao [userpic]

Entry Eleven.

February 18th, 2005 (09:59 am)

Feeling:: happy
Listening To:: Gackt - Orenji no Taiyou

Lyca will be here tomorrow. She… she made herself a journal, like mine… she… she’s coming here! I’m… glad, very glad.

She is lyca_rosalyn… if you would like to meet her. She is nice… you’ll all like her, I’m sure.

Kage Tao [userpic]

Entry Ten

February 17th, 2005 (09:34 pm)

Feeling:: uncomfortable
Listening To:: Legend - Loved By The Sun

My… head… hurts… *sighs* I do not really… remember… what happened last night. The last thing I know… was Katze. He… said something… kept giggling… I don’t remember much after that.

I was told I… acted strangely. That I… played with Loki. But I do not remember. I woke up with Theoni… and have stayed with her all day.

They say it was because of catnip. Because… I have never been near it before. It was strange.

Katze… I am sorry if I did something last night. I… don’t remember. I don’t remember saying goodbye, or… anything…

Kage Tao [userpic]

Entry Nine.

February 16th, 2005 (07:14 pm)

Feeling:: determined
Listening To:: Lycia - The Last Winter.

I have a pack brother. His name is Katze… and he his a good kitty.

I have never… never felt needed before. With him I do. He needs me, to be strong, to be… his family. To reassure him… to tell him he is a good kitty. And he his. A very good cat, very brave. He has been through the same things as myself… and is still able to smile, to laugh and play. It makes me happy to watch… he is teaching me… how to play. He… he showed me how to play with yarn. He gave me a mechanical mouse… *smiles softly*… he makes me feel like a real big brother.

I… I want to protect him. I want to keep him smiling. He should never cry. Never worry, never be sad or have to be sorry.

And that is what I will do… those things will happen the night of the full moon. He… will be scared and worried. He thinks that he will be a bad kitty. But… I will make sure he is not. I… have a way… I will hold him though the night. I will be strong. I will protect him.

I wish Lyca where here…

Kage Tao [userpic]

Entry Eight.

February 13th, 2005 (10:40 pm)

Feeling:: happy
Listening To:: Peter Gabriel - Little Light of Love

Shuichi begged me… so I found myself with a YIM account… and unsure what to do with it. I did not know… how to speak to anyone… or even if I should. I was… surprised… when I was… Im’d? By Katze. We talked. For a long time. I… I felt at ease with him. Relaxed. I have rarely felt like that with people…

He just wanted… to be my friend. I… really wanted that too. I tried… and… I think I did well. I made a friend. I even offered… I offered to be his big brother. *smiles softly*… Everyone else here does that… I want a… pack… of my own. Katze… is the start of that. He needs a pack. I can do that. I know I can do that…

Kage Tao [userpic]

Entry Seven.

February 11th, 2005 (09:59 pm)

Feeling:: calm
Listening To:: Kitaro - Earth Born

Shuichi begged me to… make… an instant messenger ID for myself. He said I should speak to more people. That Katze had been inquiring about me. I… I did as I was asked. The ID is kage_tao. I do not know how… I do not know if I will use it much. But it is there… You all may add me if you so wish…

Kage Tao [userpic]

Entry Six.

February 9th, 2005 (06:17 pm)

Feeling:: calm
Listening To:: Tangerine Dream - Unicorn Theme - Legend Soundtrack

… Theoni… is planning to get a dog. A… big… vicious… dog. With teeth… and claws… and hatred for cats…

I know I am a cat… a big cat… but dogs have always put me on edge…

I have been promise that, if she gets her dog, that I will be safe. I… will trust them… because I have no other option. I can not… not trust them. I have nothing to base that mistrust upon.

I was… very happy… to come here and see that Aurora has a journal also. I will be nice to speak with her again. It… has been a long time. A very long time. I… I missed her… she made me smile…

Kage Tao [userpic]

Entry Five.

February 7th, 2005 (04:29 pm)

Feeling:: confused
Listening To:: Gackt - Uncertain Memory

O Those Crazy LJ Friends by RickJamesBitch4
Wants To Play Handball...IN YOUR PANTSfox_reed
Wants To See Your Mom In Dragshuichi_tama
Wants To BE Your Mompereppi
Wants To Be Youtheoni_
Wishes You Were Gaysaiyuki_goku
Masturbates To Youjez_hawkwind
Stalks You All Daylaarsdasmesser
Will Steal Your Car In 4 Yearsrageboxalice
Dreams About Your Crotchkitsune_flame
Is Obsessed With Your 5 Year Old Cousinsnowdemontsu
Gets Horny Everytime Elton John Is Mentionedloki_iyaaraer
Quiz created with MemeGen!

I do not know why I take these. They always confuse me.

I have not had much to say… again. I have been looking after Jez. She… seems… unwell. She has been nice to me. I feel… I should guard her, while she is unable too.

Kage Tao [userpic]

Entry Four.

February 4th, 2005 (09:16 pm)

Feeling:: amused
Listening To:: Enya - On Your Shore

LiveJournal Username
Favorite Colour
Your Age
Your Spouse Isrageboxalice
Your Mother Isgoldenfelin
Your Father Islaarsdasmesser
Your Sister Isrageboxalice
Your Brother Issnowdemontsu
Your Grandma Islaarsdasmesser
Your Grandpa Isshuichi_tama
The Family Pettheoni_
Quiz created by TigerLilyNat at BlogQuiz.Net

More Fun Quizzes at Blog Quiz!

Kage Tao [userpic]

Entry Three.

February 4th, 2005 (08:51 pm)

Feeling:: tired
Listening To:: Genesis - Hold On My Heart

Again… I find myself unsure what to post here. But… so many people have taken the trouble… to come here, too friend me, to speak to me and make me feel… at ease. I feel I must update.

I am… tired. I find it hard to sleep in a strange place. They shout from time to time. It hurts. My ears. When they realise… they do stop, but it does scare me. Raised voices…

Shuichi Tama has spent a long time with me. Talking to me, and telling me about himself. I spoke to him briefly about myself… and my past. Until that look came into his eyes. Sadness… and pity. They do not mean it. But when I do talk of my past… it always happens. I am used to it. It just means that I stop talking…


Kage Tao [userpic]

Entry Two.

February 3rd, 2005 (04:49 pm)

Feeling:: contemplative
Listening To:: Susumu Hirasawa - Aurora

It is so strange living here. There are already defined packs. Families. Groups. Couples. Friends. I feel… like I do not belong here.

That is how I felt yesterday…
Before I met loki_iyaaraer. He is a shapeshifter. Primarily a cat, a panther. He is so different from me. He is friendly, kinds… fatherly. He saw me… and he immediately came to me, took me under his wing. He has allowed me to stay with him at nights, in his room. I am too… unsure of myself, right now. I do not think I could stay on my own, surrounded as I am, on all sides, by so many strangers.

loki_iyaaraer is looking after me. He is also telling me about the packs in this… group of people. There are so many. So many separate connections. All meshed together. Intertwined. It is… complex and confusing. But he says I will soon learn. I hope I will.


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